The turning point

I looked at the seat and could not believe that I would not be able to fit in it. Everyone said that the seats on the plane were big enough and that I would have plenty of room. We had upgraded but the arm rests would not go up. As everyone scurried past with their bags I felt panic deep inside and I wanted to die. I had never felt so humilated in all my life.

I eventually swapped with someone and got a seat that the arms went up. The flight home was uncomfortable and by the time I got home I had cuts in the sides of my legs. I was the biggest person on the plane. The biggest on the holiday in fact. I was scared that if I went on a sun bed, the material would tear and break under my weight.

I am nearly 25 stone.

This is my anon diary, that will be used to keep a reminder of what I have done to myself and my journey to get this coffin of fat removed from me. I truly believe that this will kill me in the end. Sometimes I dont care. The food over takes my feelings. I'm addicted to food.

I'm on my 5th day on a VLCD and I'm doing well. But this isnt the first time. Not so long ago I was nearly 8 stone lighter. But I will talk about that later. That's something I've been ashamed about for too long. I lost and gained a person within 5 months. But this time is different. I have hit rock bottom. I dont want to die. And I will die, they wont find a coffin big enough to fit me. And who will carry me? It will be in the papers.

I have to do this for myself, and for my loved ones.

You will never find out who I am, I am too ashamed. But I hope I will find like minded people on here, that understand what I'm going through. I'm scared but I know I will win. I have to.